Final packing day

Maybe I should not have waited so long to pack...
all the hours, days, and weeks of having packing as my status on facebook aim and gmail...
sadly they were lies....unfortunately I backed myself into this little corner of....stuff...created by procrastination and had to dig my way out of it today and yesterday...I am pretty much free I can't help but to get that nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something....or maybe I just don't want to leave yet...

leaving means growing up..
even if it's just a little bit

I mean what if I'm not ready? then what do I do?

suck it up I suppose....

maybe I'm not even worried maybe I'm just overly excited...tomorrow is the first day of the next chapter of the book that is my life...(this is the first day of my life I think I was born right in the doorway...I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed they're spreading blankets on the beach)..
anyways I'm not ridiculously apprehensive just enough to make me want to crawl into bed for a day or two and sleep away moving in..if I could do the whole thing in a sleep-walk like trance I would but that's just the scared little girl in me I suppose...
I'm not even shy
I don't have a hard time talking to new people
especially when everyone around me is new
I actually find comfort in not having to deal with judgements of people who know me
this whole post seems to be a circle and since a line allows progress and a circle does not I guess I'll try to be a little more linear..(very obscure reference there) I'm worried but I know it will all be fine I just hope all my friends back in powhatan don't disappear on me when I'm not so far
I can't drive to see them any more so that weight has to be transferred from my shoulders to theirs maybe I shouldn't be worried though if they love me like I know they do they'll stick around...
although who really knows?


Always back to that circle....